My World Today

Happy Thoughts....

are what I need today. This was taken during an exceptionally happy time last October. Five days spent alone with hubby for the first time since kids. Just remembering makes me feel more relaxed.

Happy thoughts.

What is this supposed to be?

An androgenous space creature? A member of the Blue Man Group? And why did someone mail it to me?

I'll tell you. It's a birthday card. Several weeks early. I'm having one of those birthdays that end in "5" which I suppose is better than one ending in "0," but I still don't like it. And just in case I'm not feeling old enough as it is (and I'm feeling plenty old these days), here's the message inside:

"Happy Birthday to You! Now is a great time to schedule your annual gynecological exam, Pap smear, professional breast exam, or sceening mammogram now that you're 40 or older. Planning for your preventive health needs is important, and it's also the best birthday present you can give yourself."

Well, happy birthday to me! But there's more! On the opposite page of the card is a list of "General Screening and Immunization Guidelines for Women Ages 40 - 49." And to top it all off -- it just gets better and better -- on the back is a number to call their "Health Information Library with more than 1,100 audiotaped health information topics including:

Menopause: A Normal Life Change
Osteoporosis
Mammography"

Okay, so the card came from my health insurance provider. I understand their position on preventive medicine. But to send this information to me disguised as a birthday card pisses me off. I thought they wanted me to feel good about myself, but no, they want to remind me just how old a bat I am.

That's all I can take for today. I am who I am. Happy Birthday to me.

Oh, my aching back.

Okay, it's really my leg that's been killing me, but it's caused by my back.

There's nothing else left to be done. I've tried it all over the past few months.

Laminectomy on September 5.

Maybe then, life will get back to normal.

Mean People Suck

What's wrong with people? My beautiful, loving, intelligent cousin and her man are expecting a baby! It's a very exciting time for them and for our family, as there have been no new little ones since mine eight years ago. The baby's dad is a sort-of celebrity (up and coming), and now some MEAN people, people who don't even know them, are posting all sorts of oddball, hateful, mean messages on a blog.

Can someone please explain to me how anyone, never mind several people, could wish ill upon a child who hasn't even been born yet? Even if you have "issues" with the parents, how could anyone live with wishing such horrible things for a baby? These people make me sick. I want to scream.

In fairness to daddy's "fans," there have been a fair share of congratulatory messages and well wishes. But even one hateful message is too many! I don't know what I'll do if she calls me crying one more time.

So, if you're a mean person, stay away from me. Mean people suck, and I don't want anything to do with you.

God bless my new baby cousin.

I first heard it the other day.

A new catchphrase. THE new word. And it's been singing in my head ever since.

Flabulous
Not Fabulous
Flabulous

with an F-L-A-B.

It originated in response to Hollywood's finally catching up with average American flab. The examples given of "flabulous" were all leading men, some extraordinarily attractive to me. Evidently, women are not stuck on having their leading men all thin and buff. We appreciate them even when they're somewhat chubby. We don't relegate them to the discard pile, now we just call them flabulous!

So far, the report said, it doesn't work in reverse!!! Men don't seem equally willing to accept the flabulous women out there. That's where I come in. Being fairly flabulous, I feel it incumbent upon myself to spread the good word. I think it's the best word I've heard in ages, and I'd like to see it go mainstream. Most of my friends are pretty flabulous (we're all at that age), and the few I've talked to are eagerly embracing THE new word. Now I share it with you.

Flabulous. Spread the word.