Site Meter Elsie's Space: Guilty
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Location: New England, United States

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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Guilty

So far today, I've spent most of my time trying to not feel guilty. I have the day off! Off, you say? What can she possibly mean? Doesn't she have every day off? Well, yes and no. As you probably know, I don't work outside the home -- at least not in the traditional sense. But I'm never not busy. Especially lately.

Last week, mother-in-law took a very bad fall. She's 84 now, which only makes it more serious. She broke her jaw and her cheekbone. Husband was planning a two-week business trip and was scheduled to leave the following day. He thought about staying home, but his mom insisted that she was just fine and he should go. So, of course, off he went, and you know that she isn't just fine. They did a battery of tests. Doctors were concerned that she didn't know why she fell. Turns out that she "had a cardiac event" which they believe caused her to pass out and fall, face first, onto the parking lot at the assisted living center where she lives. So, on Friday, they installed a pacemaker. They moved her to a rehabilitation center yesterday in the hopes of getting her up and around and back home in a week.

Prior to that, on Wednesday, mom and dad were coming to stay with the kidlets while I went to visit mother-in-law at the hospital. That didn't work out. Dad also fell (on Wednesday), getting a slight black eye (nothing compared to last time) and cuts and bruises on his arms and one leg. I couldn't have them stay here with the children with Dad in that condition! Instead I made dinner for them and sent them home.

So back to today. I know that I should probably go visit mother-in-law. I know that I should probably go visit Grandma, especially since I definitely spend less time with her when school's out. I know I should probably go sit with Dad for a while. I know I should probably go visit my closest girlfriend. She has MS, and I try to spend as much time with her as I can. I know I should probably do laundry. I know I should probably go weed the garden. I know I should...

But I'm not going to do any of those things. Husband will not be home until Saturday. That means that this is the only chance I will have to be alone, all alone, for the rest of the week. And he's already been gone for a week, so I'm starting to get a little crazy. Yes, I love my children. I just need to have one day for me. Just me. So far I've gone to my hair stylist. Then I came home and read the paper. Now I'm off to take a friend's child to swimming lessons. So, I guess I don't really have the entire day off, but it's only one hour. Who am I kidding? I couldn't say no. And, it lessens the guilt about goofing off for the remainder of the day.

When I get back, I plan to sit by the pool and read (son took Harry Potter with him, so it'll have to be something else). I also plan to go to the local deli to pick up a few nice chunks of cheese to have with some refreshingly ripe fruit and a small glass of chardonnay for dinner. In the words of Rachel Ray (did I ever mention that I am addicted to the Food Network?), "I never met a cheese I didn't like." Then, maybe the Hershman and I will take a walk to the marina after dinner. Who knows, maybe someone will pity me and invite me for a sail.

Guilty or not, that's what I'm doing. Now if only I can make it through the day without apologizing for it. It'll be fun trying.

4 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

I got home from work lunchtime, the sun was shining, I'd finished the articles I had to write so I sat in the garden, read HP6 and then dozed in the sunshine! Bliss. I could have cleaned the lounge or gone shopping or done something useful but, for once, I thought, 'blow it.' Today is probably our sumer so I shouldn't waste it!

Hope you enjoyed your day as much as I enjoyed mine.

And I hope all the poorly folk will soon be well again!

1:50 PM  
Blogger MaryB said...

No! Stand up (or have a little lie down), women! Take your days off without guilt! Puritan work ethic be damned!

Enjoy your day, elsie.

3:55 PM  
Anonymous Winston said...

Everyone, even you, Elsie, deserves... let me say that again... DESERVES ...a day off, time for themselves, at least occasionally. Claim yours without guilt. In the immortal words of Dr. Seuss, "Those who mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind."

Yummm... cheese, fresh fruit, chardonnay... one of my favorite meals. Add some fresh french or sour dough bread, softened fresh butter, baked brie... Heaven...

7:07 AM  
Blogger Elsie said...

I spent the day doing pretty much nothing. And I didn't feel guilty at all.

Liz, glad to hear that you enjoyed a beautiful summer day. Sorry to hear that your part of the world has been having more than its share of rainy weather. Enjoy the good stuff while you can. And thanks for your well wishes for all the folks.

Mary, I did enjoy the day. And trying to rid myself of the Puritan work ethic has been a life-long battle. Sometimes it's a good thing, I suppose, but other times I drive myself crazy!

Winston, the Dr. Seuss quote is one I should post around the house as a reminder. The fruit and cheese hit the spot. I forgot about the bread, realizing my mistake when I got home. But being too lazy to venture out again I went with some simple crackers. And when I was at the liquor store, the label of a White Zin called to me and I caved. Barefoot. And I ended up having two glasses and then promptly fell asleep. It was good.

3:32 PM  

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