The same, but different
Getting the phone call, "we're at the hospital." Flying (or so it felt) there, as fast as I possibly could. Stopping at the ER's information desk. Running down the hall. Standing outside the room to pull myself together. Quietly, hesitantly pulling open the curtain. Seeing Dad there, looking tired and spent, sitting in a chair next to Mom's bed.
After all the years of receiving calls from Mom saying Dad was in the hospital, I just couldn't believe it was Dad calling to say Mom was in trouble. She seemed fine on Thanksgiving. She did cancel an overnight with the kids on Saturday because she thought she had the flu. Flu? That's scary enough when your parents are elderly. Turns out it's worse than that. She has pneumonia. But it's even worse than that. The pneumonia put a strain on her 72-year-old heart, and she's been in atrial fibrillation for days. Can't get her heart rate lower than 100, yes a huge improvement over her 180 upon admission, but not turning around fast enough. And there's not a thing I can do to help her.
Mom has always been the strong one. She's the one who holds everything together, all the time. She's the one who survived breast cancer twenty years ago, never complaining about how sick the chemo made her feel or that most of her hair fell out. She's the one who helps Dad with his medications, his appointments, keeping him healthier than most men in his circumstances would ever be. She's the one who went back to work after retiring "just because I love it." She's the one who fears nothing. Until now. I can see that she's scared. And there's not a thing I can do to help her.
So I've been praying. And praying some more. I'm not really even sure how to pray. I've had my own issues with God for a long time. I try hard to believe. I'm not really sure that I do. Does God only help those who are sure? I don't know. But I will continue to pray for her and the team of doctors helping her and for my Dad. And I will continue to hope. That's all there is right now.
Life throws things at us when we least expect it. The same, but different.
After all the years of receiving calls from Mom saying Dad was in the hospital, I just couldn't believe it was Dad calling to say Mom was in trouble. She seemed fine on Thanksgiving. She did cancel an overnight with the kids on Saturday because she thought she had the flu. Flu? That's scary enough when your parents are elderly. Turns out it's worse than that. She has pneumonia. But it's even worse than that. The pneumonia put a strain on her 72-year-old heart, and she's been in atrial fibrillation for days. Can't get her heart rate lower than 100, yes a huge improvement over her 180 upon admission, but not turning around fast enough. And there's not a thing I can do to help her.
Mom has always been the strong one. She's the one who holds everything together, all the time. She's the one who survived breast cancer twenty years ago, never complaining about how sick the chemo made her feel or that most of her hair fell out. She's the one who helps Dad with his medications, his appointments, keeping him healthier than most men in his circumstances would ever be. She's the one who went back to work after retiring "just because I love it." She's the one who fears nothing. Until now. I can see that she's scared. And there's not a thing I can do to help her.
So I've been praying. And praying some more. I'm not really even sure how to pray. I've had my own issues with God for a long time. I try hard to believe. I'm not really sure that I do. Does God only help those who are sure? I don't know. But I will continue to pray for her and the team of doctors helping her and for my Dad. And I will continue to hope. That's all there is right now.
Life throws things at us when we least expect it. The same, but different.
posted by Elsie | 5:36 AM
5 Comments:
God helps us all, sometimes when we ask, sometimes when we don't even know it.
I'm praying for you, your mum and dad and for the doctors and nurses, for wisdom, for compassion, for strength, for peace.
God bless you, Elsie - and drive carefuly to and from the hospital!
Oh, Elsie - I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. Please know that she and your dad and the rest of the family are in my thoughts and prayers.
Keep us posted on how things are going for her.
Courage Elsie.
All your friends are with you.
ditto jack
Liz and Mary, thank you for your thoughts and prayers. They certainly seemed to have helped.
Jack, my dad gave me a ring when things weren't too great between us (I was a difficult teenager) that had the words "Truth and Courage" engraved inside. Neither trait is easy to come by, and your one word reminded me just how strong I really am, especially when I truly need to be. Did I ever tell you he's called Jack? How lucky can one girl be? Two great Jacks during one lifetime. Thanks!
And Peter. Thank you too, for I know how much you really do care. Enjoy Paris, and travel safely.
Post a Comment
<< Home