He's Only Twelve
But in his very short life he's had to deal with some very big, huge issues. He's a smart one (bragging mom hasn't disclosed, until today, that he's in the honors program at school). You'd think that might help, but sometimes it just makes things harder. He can't help but think too much -- a chip off this old block.
The night before last, just before bed, he asked to talk to me. His tone made me pause. This would be serious. He then teared up, but went on to tell me that one of his good friends had been cutting herself and that he was worried she'd do something worse. After detailing her horrid home life, he told me he's worried she might kill herself. Then he really started to cry and told me that he couldn't handle it if she did. We talked for a long while. He decided that he was going to talk to one of the counselors at school, even if it meant that his friend would no longer be his friend. "I don't care if she's not my friend anymore, at least she'll still be alive."
What makes this horrendous situation even worse for him is that my little guy (and to see him like this, so mature, somehow reminded me that he is still a boy) is no stranger to death. His best friend died of cancer when they were only eight. Your friends aren't supposed to die when you're eight years old. Then, just a few months ago, another friend of his died suddenly at the ripe old age of 13 of cardiac failure. Your friends aren't supposed to die when you're twelve years old. Death is all too real for him.
At his age, I was still playing with Barbies. He's still a kid at heart. I can see it when he's acting silly and carefree. But, unfortunately, due to his life's circumstances, he's grown wise beyond his years.
He's only twelve.
The night before last, just before bed, he asked to talk to me. His tone made me pause. This would be serious. He then teared up, but went on to tell me that one of his good friends had been cutting herself and that he was worried she'd do something worse. After detailing her horrid home life, he told me he's worried she might kill herself. Then he really started to cry and told me that he couldn't handle it if she did. We talked for a long while. He decided that he was going to talk to one of the counselors at school, even if it meant that his friend would no longer be his friend. "I don't care if she's not my friend anymore, at least she'll still be alive."
What makes this horrendous situation even worse for him is that my little guy (and to see him like this, so mature, somehow reminded me that he is still a boy) is no stranger to death. His best friend died of cancer when they were only eight. Your friends aren't supposed to die when you're eight years old. Then, just a few months ago, another friend of his died suddenly at the ripe old age of 13 of cardiac failure. Your friends aren't supposed to die when you're twelve years old. Death is all too real for him.
At his age, I was still playing with Barbies. He's still a kid at heart. I can see it when he's acting silly and carefree. But, unfortunately, due to his life's circumstances, he's grown wise beyond his years.
He's only twelve.
posted by Elsie | 7:32 AM
3 Comments:
What a wonderfully mature and compassionate little boy! And to have lost two friends so young. You know that's not supposed to happen until you get to past my age.
Even if he does lose the friendship of this girl - and I really hope she's not that foolish and scared - he will know he has done the right thing and she will forgive him in time.
Give him a great big hug from me and Harvs - but you don't have to tell him it's from us!
It is hard knowing what to say to this, other than you are so fortunate to have such a concerned and caring son, and he is indeed lucky to have you as a mom. He would not be the way he is but for the gentle guidance and nurturing you have provided.
I keep hearing of children and teens committing suicide. Nothing I have learned in my life has prepared me to understand.
Liz, he is a wonderful boy. And don't you worry, he's always getting plenty of hugs from me (and now from you, too).
Winston, I don't understand it either. It's sad to think that kids so young could believe that their lives aren't worth living.
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